


Steady Storms

by DeanBean



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1970s, F/M, Hogwarts Seventh Year, M/M, Marauders, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-05 08:50:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanBean/pseuds/DeanBean
Summary: "And friends just can't be found, like a bridge over troubled water. I will lay me down, like a bridge over troubled water."The Mauraders begin their seventh and final year at Hogwarts. New classes, impending exams and Remus Lupin's furry problem accompany them as always. Sirius' crush on his fellow canine best friend came to a head over the summer and he aches to find a way to let his feelings known; and have them returned.





	1. It's a Long Way There

Remus' mother kissed him 17 times on the cheek to make up for the birthday she would miss while he was away at school. She did this every year, adding an additional kiss each year as time went by. And she always did it right there in the train station in front of everyone. Remus' normally pale and sallow cheeks flushed cherry pink and he screwed up his face against her onslaught. 

"Stay out of trouble," His father said, firmly gripping his shoulder. 

"Always," Remus assured him, rubbing at his cheek. 

"Be careful." 

"As I can be." Remus smiled, letting his thin father wrap him in a warm and loving embrace. 

"We love you, darling. Please write as much as you can," his mother asked. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes as if she would never see him again. He made it a habit to write to them twice a week and he received just as many letters. He went home for Holiday breaks when he could and stayed in touch as much as possible. But that wasn't enough for his mother. Given his peculiar circumstances, he almost understood her worry. Once his father released him from his hug, his mother took her turn, placing a final kiss on his opposite cheek. "One to grow on," she whispered. 

Remus slung his arm around her and gave her a quick squeeze before peeling away from them. "I love you both," he assured. "I'll see you soon!" 

The warm affection from his parents followed him onto the Hogwarts Express and down the narrow corridor to the Prefect's meeting car at the head of the train. There was still almost twenty minutes until the train left King's Crossing and he was the first one in the car. He packed away his belongings in the racks above the seating helped himself to a spot next to the window. The rhythmic rattling of the magically-altered steam engine filled Remus with a different kind of warmth. He would be at his second home soon.

He loved his parent's dearly but at Hogwarts, he had no fear over being himself. His condition made life hard in the muggle world and magical world alike. Newspaper clippings about sightings of a strange creature eating small animals in the middle of the night forced his family to move from town to town on a regular basis. Without the shrieking shack to hole away in once a month and without his friends to help his deranged mind once he turned, life was nearly unbearable. A slight unease settled over him as he thought of life without Hogwarts. This was his seventh and final year. After this, there would be no more salvation. 

He shook the thought from his brain and absentmindedly rubbed the material of his T-shirt between his thumb and forefinger. Sirius would like his shirt. It displayed the logo of a muggle rock n roll band and was faded with months of washing it over the summer. His jeans had gaping holes in the knees and his hair was dreadfully overgrown. It covered the particularly nasty scar that ran along the line of his jaw and he liked it that way. He stood again and took an old, cable-knit cardigan from his trunk along with his wand. 

"Remus! Nice to see you! How was your summer?" A delightful Ravenclaw girl entered the compartment. Sumara was her name. 

"Oh just the same as all the others. You?" He asked, twirling his wand between his fingers in a nervous habit. As she placed her things in the rack next to his she described her holiday to Marrakesh and all she had learned about magic there. 

One by one, prefects filed into their assigned car as the minutes ticked by. Lily Evans would join him as the Gryffindor Prefect for his year. Rebecca and Lance for the sixth years and whatever poor saps were chose for their fifth year. The new prefects from Hufflepuff arrived together, arm in arm with their badges already pinned to their muggle clothes. Remus welcomed them with a timid smile and continued his conversation with Sumara about Professor Slughorn. 

"Oh, I do hope to be chose for the Slug Club this year." 

"Lily says it's not all that it's cracked up to be," Remus said. "But you're more than talented enough to make the cut. You should write to him-" 

"You can' be in here!" An older Hufflepuff prefect spoke above the rest of the people in the car and heads whipped around to see the intruder at the door.

"Unfortunately, Katrina, he belongs with us." Lily Evans gathered the material of the front of someone's shirt and yanked him into view. "I don't know what they were thinking." 

"Prongs?" Remus blurted out.

"Oh thank Merlin, Moony I forgot you would be here." he nervously shuffled his fingers through his thick, wild black hair. He wore a denim jacket over a half-unbuttoned, red shirt and his skin looked very brown after a summer spent outside. "Dumbledore made me Head Boy. Can you believe him? What a nutter!" James crossed the car and Remus rose to meet him in a tight hug. Murmurs of "Head Boy?" went around the car. It certainly was an odd choice, but their beloved headmaster was certainly one to advocate the making of odd choices. 

"Nice to see you, Remus." Lily smiled, hugging him around the middle. "Was your summer alright?" 

"Evans is Head Girl. That's understandable. But me? Moony, I can't handle the pressure." James rambled. Lily rolled her eyes and went to greet other students in the car. The train began to move beneath them and all of them settled into their seats, chatting among themselves. 

"Well, he must have had a reason." Remus pondered. "How's Sirius?" 

"Blimey, its like the two of you didn't write novels back and forth all holiday. He's fine. He and Wormy are in a car with a bunch of birds at the back somewhere. We'll see them in a bit I expect." James playfully punched Remus on the shoulder. 

Sirius had finally been kicked from his home over the summer holiday. One mishap lead to another. The house elf snitched on his late nights one too many times. His mother lost her temper and he took his meager belongings to the Potter's where he was lovingly taken in. This earned Sirius a scorched mark on the Black family tree, but also a large inheritance from a displaced uncle for rebelling against the typical family values. Last they had spoken, adoption papers were in the works. But it was a difficult process with magic families. Especially pure blood families. 

"Where'd you go, Re?" James locked eyes with his friend. 

"Sorry, just thinking. Congratulations, by the way. And thanks for telling me." Remus swatted at him this time. 

"Alright everyone welcome back!" a seasoned Slytherin seventh year shook his long hair away from his eyes. He had been a Prefect since his fifth year and had attended just as many meetings as Remus had. The whistle of the train blew and the car moved under them, slowly propelling them forward. Remus could almost hear a clock chiming out eleven times. "I'm Colby. Why don't we all introduce ourselves?" 

A unanimous groan went up among them and Colby held up his hands defensively. "Alright then, not the friendly sort I see. That's fine. Lets get right to it then and work out the patrols." 

"I'm not cut out for all this, Moony." James whispered, edging his glasses but up to the bridge of his nose with his fingertip. Lily stood, her cheeks clashing brightly against the orange of her hair. 

"You boss people around all the time. What's the difference?" Lily yanked on the collar of his jacket, forcing him to stand and greet his peers. The Hogwarts express accelerated underneath them, speeding towards their temporary home for the very last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It's a Long Way There" by the Little River Band  
> People on their own are getting nowhere  
> I'm on the road to see  
> If anything is anywhere or waiting, just for me


	2. If The Kids Are United

Absentmindedly, Sirius plucked at the strings of the muggle guitar he'd picked up in a thrift shop over the summer. He wasn't very good at it, but the sound of the strings gently humming against the chugging of the train was soothing. Peter sat on the bench opposite him with his back against the window. One of his schoolbooks was propped up on his knee and he used one hand to flip it's pages and the other to twirl the end of a licorice wand that was hanging from his lips. 

The two of them didn't speak often. Peter followed James around like a lost puppy and Sirius supposed that he did the same. James was like a comet shooting through a black summer sky and his friends were the ashes following in his wake. When their school letters came early one morning, Sirius was hardly surprised to see the shiny gold and crimson badge. James was a top Quidditch player, smart as a whip and possessed enough leadership skills to run a nation. He just had an affiliation with mischief. They all did. 

Over the summer, he and James had wreaked slight havoc over the Muggle town a few streets away from The Potter's neighborhood. There was a small pub that hosted new-fangled punk events. Girls with dyed-black hair came to them in torn skirts with safety pins in their noses. Boys came just the same. Sirius and James haggled them at pool, magically winning at the last moment and fooled them with slight-of-hand card tricks that involved a little more skill than quick fingers. 

The muggle police caught them drunkenly lighting fireworks that they'd smuggled home from Zonko's a few weeks before term was about to start. Mrs. Potter went absolutely ballistic when the policeman brought them home in the back of his car. She grounded the both of them until school began. Sirius had never been grounded before. His family hadn't cared that much for him. 

He had seen his mother and brother briefly at King's Crossing, just before the train was due to leave the station. His mother had her frail hand on Regulus's face. She'd only ever touched him like that. Never her oldest son. Never the failure to the family. Regulus was somewhere on the train now, neither of them searching for each other. 

Sirius shoved away his guitar and pushed the long, thick black hair away from his face with an exhale. He was ready to be at school. Ready to use magic when he wanted and blow off steam with his best mates. He was digging the palms of his hands into his eyes when the door to their compartment slid open. 

"Wormtail! Good to see you." James laughed. Peter bolted upright, his book tumbling to the floor. Their hands clasped with a tight shake. 

"Moony." A grin broke across Sirius' face at the sight of his lanky friend, shuffling in the compartment behind James. 

Sirius didn't think it was possible, but he'd grown even thinner over the summer break. His skin was pale, a dusting of freckles shining over the bridge of his nose. He'd let his sandy hair grow to chin length and he subconsciously shook it forward. He smiled too, a dimple forming deep in one cheek. 

"Pads." Sirius stood and the two of them embraced like lost brothers. The smell of pine and mint wafted to Sirius' nose as he dug his head into Remus' shoulder. His hands fisted into the back of his loose sweater. The suspicion that Sirius had held for himself was unfolding before his very eyes. He'd come to the realization after stepping off the train last fall that there was a hole in his chest where Remus belonged. As the two of them clung to each other, he felt that hole stitching itself up again like a patch in so many of Remus' sweaters. 

After a long moment, he made himself break away, avoiding eye contact with James. 

"How was the meeting?" he asked. 

"I don't think Prongs heard a word of it. Evans'll be giving him the ring around I expect." Remus rubbed at the back of his neck. His cheeks were flushed with color and the white scars striping across his skin stood out more prominently. 

"God, I hope so. Did you see that skirt?" James made an obscene gesture, biting his lip.

"You're a pig." Remus picked up Sirius' guitar and sat down. He left enough room for Sirius to sit between him and the window. 

"Thats _Head Pig_ to you." 

Remus snorted. His smile was like pure rays of sunlight. 

"Back together again, eh? The four of us. Seventh years! Can you believe it?" Sirius raked a hand through his hair again. "A Prefect and a fucking Head Boy. What a year this will be." 

"One for the books." James confirmed. 

\-----

James and Remus left for more patrols after their short visit. He changed into his robes soon after that, securing his unwashed pointed hat precariously on the back of his head. The train pulled into it's station and Hagrid's form could be seen outside the windows, a lantern waving in his hand. He'd take the first years across the Great Lake to get their first view of the castle. Sirius remembered the awe in his heart 6 years ago when he'd seen the soaring turrets and glittering lights of Hogwarts. 

"Well, are you ready for another year, Worm?" He patted Peter on the shoulder, letting him walk in front of him as they navigated the narrow hallway between train cars. 

"A-as I'll ever be, Padfoot." 

The two of them made their way onto the station and further still to the spot where the driver-less carriages would pick them up for delivery to the Great Hall. Remus joined them shortly after, his robes hanging off of him loosely. The tips of his pink ears stuck out from underneath his hat. Sirius fought the urge to run his fingertips over them. 

"Hello Sirius!" Lily rubbed a hand over his back in a welcoming half-hug. "I heard you had a rough summer." 

"I'm better because of it." He smiled reassuringly. The Potters were the best thing to ever happen to him. 

"That's good." She patted him again. Her hair had grown considerably over their three months of separation. Small braids decorated with fabric made themselves known as she turned to speak to a Slytherin girl that joined them. 

James hovered nearby her. agreeing enthusiastically with whatever she said and laughing much to loudly at any joke she made. Poor sap. Sirius doubted anything would come of his crush on her. She'd hated them all for bullying her childhood friend. It was only last year that she'd started speaking to them. She and James exchanged several owls over the summer and there was a strange, competitive sparkle in James' eye as he looked at her. 

"Rather sad, isn't it?" Remus murmured into his ear. "He's acting like _he's_ the puppy dog." 

Sirius snorted. A carriage rolled to a stop in front of them. The four of them climbed on along with Lily and her Slytherin friend. Her hair was dyed pitch black and her bangs were cut into a thick, blunt line across her forehead. Multiple silver rings glistened in her ears. "Melissa Finch-Fletchly." she said, extending her hand for him to shake. 

"Sirius Black." he shook it. Recognition flashed in her eyes. 

"Regulus' brother?" 

"That's me." he slumped back into his seat and crossed his arms, putting a stopper in the conversation with his demeanor. The last thing he wanted to talk about was his younger brother. James elbowed him and jerked his chin towards her and Sirius rolled his eyes. James knew that girls weren't his type but that never stopped him from the unwanted encouragement. 

The carriage approached the castle, it's vast walls and towers looming before them. Sirius' heart filled with the sight of Hogwarts. Classes and learning and trouble-making awaited him beyond the gates. It was his last year and he was bent on making it a good one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If the Kids are United" by Sham 69  
> Just take a look around you  
> What do you see?  
> Kids with feelings  
> Like you and me  
> Understand him, he'll understand you  
> For you are him, and he is you


	3. How Long

Remus sat on the edge of his four-poster bed, clean and dressed and ready for his first day. The calendar he'd taped to his window displayed there were only three more blank squares until the full moon rose in the night sky. Nervously, he ran his hands over the front of his uniform shirt. His school clothes were looser on him that he would have liked. His parents couldn't afford to get them tailored this year. But he suspected that if he left a few gifts for the house elves, they might take care of it for him. 

He grabbed his wand from it's place on his bedside table. Magic seemed to crackled through his fingertips, ready to be used. "Lumos," he whispered. The very tip of his wand glowed like a flashlight. "Nox." It wouldn't be long until he could use magic whenever he liked, even outside of school. 

"A-are you ready to go to breakfast, Remus?" Peter stood beside his own bed across the room. He wrung his hands nervously. Though, Remus thought, it probably was just more of a habit by now. There was hardly a time Remus didn't remember his friend not fidgeting with his hands.

He nodded, smiling encouragingly at Peter to lead the way to the staircase. Remus hung his worn, leather satchel over his shoulder and loped behind him, his oversized school robes billowing behind him as he padded down the spiral staircase. They made their way through the common room filled with students yawning and fretting about their first days.

Only one staircase changed on their way to the great hall. It was 8 in the morning and bright beams of sunlight shot through the sparse stained glassed along the wall. They a little under an hour to have breakfast, collect their new schedules from McGonagall and hurry to their first classes of the term.

"Good morning, James," Remus said cheerfully when they reached the Gryffindor table.

"Oh. Hey Moony." James rubbed at his eyes, knocking his glasses askew. He had been the first one at their usual spot in the middle of the Gryffindor table and he looked like he hadn't slept a wink all night. His hair was messy, but not in the particular way it usually was and his robes looked like they had just been thrown on in a hurry. Not at all like James on a first day of school. For the previous 6 years he had preened himself like a proud bird and slowly dwindled down to a disheveled state. It seemed that the pretty Head Boy badge pinned to his lapel had given him nightmares about actual responsibility.

Remus held the back of his hand to James's forehead. "Feeling alright?" He sat down beside him. Peter sat across from the both of them, eyes flicking back and forth across the hall, as if searching for predators. The table was filled with all sorts of breakfast foods and the teachers assigned as Head of Houses were bustling through the thin crowd of students handing out new class schedules. James knocked his hand away with a glare. "Easy, Head Boy. I'm just saying you aren't wearing your usual pompous asshole look."

"Moony is cursing? This early in the morning?" Sirius appeared and sat across from them, a piece of toast already hanging from his mouth. His hair was wild and swept over one shoulder, a dangling, silver hoop hanging from the ear that was exposed. His tie was undone and his shirts were untucked and Remus imagined he had traded the issued shoes that went with their uniforms for his favored, clunky boots. "Has the world gone mad?"

Remus rolled his eyes and poked a fork into one of the sausages on the plate in front of him. The full moon always made him crave meat for a few days before it hung in the sky, ripe and round. He was bent on doing his best not to miss any classes, and nights didn't last as long in the summer. It was Monday morning and he was due for the first change of the school year on Thursday. Four days to politely tell his teachers that he had a strange illness that might make his attendance suffer. He appreciated them for playing along and not calling any attention to his furry problem. 

He had his speech prepared already. 'Please Professor, I promise that I'll work as hard as I can to make up any work that I may miss.' and 'If you have any questions over the matter, Madame Pomfrey will be happy to explain it to you. She handles my medication.' He needed to visit her this afternoon for a heady dose of Wolfsbane potion. It wouldn't do much good as he had missed three of the seven days he was supposed to take it before the full moon. But it was always worth a try. 

"Mr. Lupin," McGonagall had snuck up on him when he'd gotten lost in this thoughts. She waved a piece of parchment in front of his face. "It appears as if you've opted for a busy schedule this year. I look forward in seeing you in my advanced N.E.W.T class. As for the rest of you," she handed his friends their schedules as well. "I look forward to not seeing you in detention as I know all of you will use your free time to study and not wreak havoc across the campus."

Sirius saluted her as she made her way to the next cluster of students and Remus swore he could have seen a slight smile quirk the corner of her mouth.

She was right about his schedule being packed. He only had two free periods through the week as he had opted to take twice the recommended amount of electives. He, James, Peter and Sirius all laid their schedules on the table to compare and contrast. "Blimey, Moony you've got a lot on your plate." Peter stammered.

"Look, we all have Apparition together!" Sirius pointed out. "And Transfiguration. That should be fun." Sometimes Remus thought that McGonagall knew about his friends being unregistered Animagi. They had told him that they had tried to fudge their Transfiguration exams and all three of them had still received Os. Perhaps she just felt the need to keep an eye on them.

James's schedule displayed that his mornings were to be dedicated to meetings with Lily and the Prefects. Other than that, he took N.E.W.T. Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Transfiguration and their shared Apparition class and not much else. "Perhaps all that free time is meant for you to roam the halls like some sort of primary school kid with a sash. Hey, thats a good idea! Lets get you a sash to replace that badge on your chest!" Sirius joked. James even cracked a smile.

Remus had piled his plate full of bacon and sausage with steak and eggs and chewed thoughtfully. His first class of the day was Herbology out in the Greenhouse. It'd be the first time in 6 years that he didn't have a class along with one of his friends. Rightfully so, as after this year he wouldn't have one of them holding his hand through life. A frown tugged at his mouth.

The help he'd received from everyone since the night he was attacked never bothered him... much. There was always that niggling voice at the back of his mind telling him how much everyone sacrificed for him. His parents were poor. His friends risked permanently turning themselves into animals just to keep him company. All he was, was a nuisance really.

Just then, chewing on his first breakfast of the term, he decided that this year he wasn't going to be a bother. He'd have to live the rest of his adult life out by himself, so he might as well use this year as practice.

"What are you brooding about?" Lily asked, snatching a piece of bacon of his plate. She sat down next to Sirius and filched his schedule from his hands to study. That was Lily for you. Snatching things and flourishing accusations.

He looked up, catching her eye just as she cocked a brow. "Brooding?"

"Yes brooding. You look like you're thinking about the end of the world was we know it."

He may as well have been.

"She's got a point, Moony," James agreed.

Like Remus knew he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "How Long" by Ace  
> How long has this been going on?  
> How long has this been going on?  
> Well, your friends with their fancy persuasion  
> Don't admit that it's part of a scheme  
> But I can't help but have my suspicion  
> 'Cause I ain't quite as dumb as I seem


	4. Pretty Vacant

The school year began with a short bang and all his friends scattered in their own directions like they were running a crooked race. Peter and Remus had busy schedules that would lead to job offers and career learning. Sirius and James had a little more fluidity in their days, but James was busy with the pressure of being Head Boy. And the pressure of wooing his head girl. 

Classes were simple. Transfiguration. Defense Against the Dark Arts. Potions. All things he's taken before but with a touch more difficulty and a tad more homework. Nothing to keep him too bogged down or to chase away the thoughts he was harboring for one of his very best friends. 

When Remus's sallow, sad eyes met his with a soft smile in the hallway Sirius's heart banged like a bird trying to escape from his chest. They always sat side by side at breakfast, Remus's elbow brushing his as he reached for something and his skin tingled under his robes. He wrote poetry in his journal about the clearness of Moony's eyes and the angle of his coat-hanger limbs. He wanted to twirl his fingers through the holes in his hand-me-down cardigans. It was driving him mad. 

The first day of the semester, he'd simmered in the feeling. He was in love with Remus and Remus had no idea. but if he told him, their long friendship could be severed like so many threads. He couldn't have that. The second day, he resolved to try and stop paying attention. The glances and the brushes were met with strict thoughts of _control yourself_ and _come on man you're better than this_. By the third day of term, Sirius had trained himself not to notice. He responded to Remus's questions and banter with a forced indifference that made his heart tight in his chest. 

Today, the fourth day, he didn't think he'd even seen Remus at all. He lounged in a chair in the library, lazily scratching down answers to his review Charms questions. It was all just a recap of technique and pronunciation. He could do it in his sleep. Peter sat beside him, pouring over a book on potion ingredients from the restricted section. He had an absurdly long paper due for Herbology about the potency certain plants in certain potions. Sirius was glad his classes weren't as difficult. 

A yawn raked it's way up his throat after the tenth simple question. He stretched his arms out, arching his back and rolled his neck to and fro. A Hufflepuff boy across the room caught his eye, his cheeks flushed with bright pink. There was a mole on the corner of his mouth and his eyes were delightfully almond shaped. They had taken Charms in the same class earlier that day and Sirius had noticed that the boy's arms filled out his shirt quite nicely. Sirius smirked back at him with a quick wink. If he wasn't going to have Remus, he might as well start somewhere. 

"I think I'll go to bed, Wormtail." he started folding his paper up and stoppering his inkwells. "Quite tired." the boy followed suit, gathering up his books. 

"I'm not far behind, I think." he reached into his bag and pulled out the book he kept his assignments in. He rifled through the pages just as Sirius was situating his bag on his shoulder. 

"Oh. Oh no." Peter bit his bottom lip worriedly. 

"That bad already, is it?" Sirius glanced down at his small friend. 

"Where is Remus?" 

"Why?" Sirius almost dropped his things. His heart racing. It couldn't be. Not yet. 

"Padfoot, it's full tonight." He held up his daily planner to display a perfectly round circle scribbled in the corner of today's date. "Why didn't he say anything? Do you think James is with him?" 

Sirius knew that he wasn't. James had been perched on the edge of an armchair in the common room when he'd seen him last, his foot gently nudging Evan's knee as she read by the fire. "He's not." he answered "What time is it?" 

"It's late. It has to be." 

Sirius's heart seemed to drop from his chest. "Fucking hell." 

"Mr. Black!" Ms. Pince admonished him from behind a stack of books. He bolted from the table and out the library doors before she could chastise him further, leaving the Hufflepuff boy looking quite confused in his wake. 

\-----

The night air was chilled as they rushed their way across the grounds in the direction of the Whomping Willow. 

"Moony!" Sirius cried when he came into view. His hair was being picked up by the wind and it was a fight to keep it out of his eyes. Remus was bundled under a thick sweater. The closer they got to him, the more obvious it was that he was about to change. His face was flushed hot with blood and there was a clammy sheen on his forehead. His hair stuck to the sides of his face and his eyes were bloodshoot and slightly yellowed. 

"Remus what on Earth were you thinking?" The two of them were out of breath when they reached their friend. Sirius bent over, placing his hands on his knees to catch his breath. "Do you want to get yourself hurt?" 

"You have lives of your own to worry about, I'm fine to change on my own." Remus swallowed, forcing the unnatural growl out of his throat. "There's no point in wasting an evening on my behalf." 

Sirius huffed. "My Charms homework isn't as important as your safety, Moony. Don't you see that we care about you?" His chest felt empty. How could he have let this happen? How could he have let his friend think that they didn't want to help him with his problem anymore? Remus turned from him, a sharp growl burning through his throat. "Peter, can you open the passage?" 

"O-of course." he stammered. He tapped the end of his wand to his temple and morphed into a small, tabby rat. His clothes were left behind on the ground and Sirius gathered them up, stuffing them in his bag that he'd kept on his shoulder for the journey here. Before the limbs of the fighting tree could still, Remus dropped to his knees, moaning in pain. Sirius bolted forward. 

"Have you taken your potion?" Sirius lifted Remus's chin to look into his eyes. They were already yellowed, his pupils expanding at a rapid rate. The veins in his forehead were pulsing and he grimaced, clutching his chest. He shook his head. "Oh, Moony why are you torturing yourself?" His friend lunged, gnashing his teeth at Sirius. An inhuman groan came from his lips and chills went down Sirius's spine. "Easy, easy." 

The Whomping Willow stilled and Sirius started to steer his friend towards the open entrance. They were all in for a very rough night. "You're still yourself, Remus. If your heart that matters. That's where you are. You are not the monster." Remus shook his head again, gripping the sides of it with his fingers. His nails were blackened and sharp. Sharp teeth protruded from his lips. His once beautiful face was painted with agony and pain. Sirius heard cracks as Remus's bones broke and reformed. He exhaled a long sigh before putting his wand to his forehead and transforming himself to match Remus. 

He herded Remus into the tunnel and into the bedroom of the shrieking shack just in time for his human groans to turn into twisted howls. 

\-----

Sunlight poked hard into Sirius' eyes at first light the next morning. He was still Canine, his thick fur warming quickly and itching against his skin. He sneezed and found his head and back aching from sleeping on the hard floor. He'd spent the night outside of the bedroom door. It wasn't safe for he or Remus to be in the same room together after this brutal a change. He hadn't seen Remus like that in over five years. The combination of a week-long dose of Wolfsbane and he companionship of the quartet kept him reasonable at best. But Remus had turned vicious and cold-blooded. 

Sirius listened to the yelps and squeals and howls from the other side of the solid oak door for hours. He couldn't remember when he'd fallen asleep. He didn't know hwere Peter was, but a pile of clothes topped with his wand sat on the floor next to the door. With a gruff, Sirius lifted himself off the floor and limped to his wand, nuzzling it with his cold nose. He stretched his human limbs over his head when they returned. There was a sharp pain in his left ankle. Remus must have gotten him there in the fray before he was contained. 

Sirius gingerly pulled his clothes on. There were a few bites on his arms and a nasty scratch on his chest but nothing concerning. He wrapped his knuckles on the door three times with no response. 

"Moony?" the door creaked when he pushed it open. 

The room was in shambles. There were claw marks all the way up to the ceiling. Shreds of curtains were littered across the floor and the baseboards around the room looked like they'd been dug up by a pawing animal. White feathers were scattered from the spilled open mattress on the old, four poster bed. The curtains were tattered but still hanging from their rungs. Sirius' eyes fixed on the naked, shivering body curled up on the bed. Something inside of him broke. 

"Oh, Remus." he rushed to his side, pushing the hair off of his clammy forehead. Remus held his eyes shut tight and a small whining was coming from deep inside his chest. His arms were bloody and the bone in one of his forearms was bent at an awful angle. Sirius found the duvet and spread it over his friend. "Oh. Remus." he repeated. Ignoring the voice inside him that warned him against it, he climbed carefully onto the bed and laid next to Remus. He wrapped an arm around his middle and rest his face on the crook of his neck, moving his hair aside to feel the feverish skin there. 

Remus gasped with pained tears, as if being touched this gently had made him crack. Sirius gripped him tighter, careful of his broken arm. He shushed him, his own voice shaking. "It's alright, Moony. I'm here. Shh." He pressed his lips to the skin behind Remus' ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Pretty Vacant" by The Sex Pistols 
> 
> There's no point in asking, you'll get no reply  
> Oh just remember I don't decide  
> I got no reason it's all too much


	5. Only the Strong Survive

No one knew how badly it hurt to have your bones break themselves and reform into something else. Something animal and cruel and confused. No one knew the feverish dreams that came with having your body temperature rise an extra twenty degrees to meet the normal temperature for this monster that was taking over your existence. It was just for the night, sure. Twelve nights a year. For the rest of your life. The monster takes over but you're still inside, watching as it kills and maims and hurts itself. Sometimes you wish you could console it, but sometimes you want it to hurt and hurt and hurt until it stops. 

As Remus' body temperature returned to normalcy, the shivers stopped and the tears along with them. He ached. He was bleeding. His arm was definitely going to require a sling and a small dose of Skele-Gro. But all he could feel was Sirius, pressed against his back and the arm thrown tightly around his waist. His friend murmured into his ear like a mother in the night and it comforted him. It chased the Wolf's thoughts from his brain and made him feel human again. 

"I." He started. He wet his lips and tried again when his voice pathetically cracked. "I'm sorry." 

Sirius shushed him again, smoothing the hair back from his face. "No, I'm sorry Remus. We should have kept better track. Why didn't you take your Wolfsbane?" 

"I did." Remus swallowed again. He was weak. "But I only had four days to take it instead of the full seven." 

"Oh, Moony." Sirius' voice was full of sorrow. His breath tickled the back of Remus' neck. 

"Where's Peter?" Remus cut him off before he received any more sympathy. He didn't deserve it. 

"He brought us clothes and left last night. He's worried about classes, I think." 

Remus tried to sit up to and yelped, plopping back on the pillows on his back. He cradled his broken arm to his chest. Staring at the ceiling, he said "You should be in class, too." 

Sirius snorted, moving his hand away from Remus' stomach, where it had landed. "When am I ever in class anyway?" He sat up and leaned over Remus, prodding at a cut above his left eyebrow. 

Remus slapped his hand away. "That hurts!" 

Sirius laughed again. "Come on. Let's get you doctored up enough to make it back to the castle. That arm needs attending to." He scooted to the end of the bed and held the ripped curtains aside. "Where is the first aid kit, again?" 

"Bathroom." He and his friends hadn't gone into the Shrieking shack in years. Usually the Wolfsbane and the company kept the Wolf collected. They'd wander through the Forbidden Forrest and even into Hogsmeade to spend the night as Remus rode out is transformation. James kept them all entertained by doing leaps and tricks and Peter snuck them into buildings by squeezing inside and unlocking the door. Remus always wondered what would happen if they got caught. A black shaggy dog that looked like an omen of death, a proud stag and a rat accompanying a gigantic werewolf in the middle of town. Luckily they'd never run into anyone. 

Sirius left and returned with the small medical kit complete with salves and bandages. Remus gritted his teeth and lifted himself into a sitting position. The room spun for a moment before leveling out. His back ached from being held in a strange position all night. The skin on his broken arm was turning shades of yellow and purple and his fingertips were raw from trying to dig up the floorboards. His mouth tasted of death. "Can you sit on the edge of the bed?" 

Remus nodded. He gingerly moved to poke his feet over the edge of the bed. The hardwood floors was ice cold. Sirius knelt on the ground in front of him and began smoothing creams over the cuts he found. "Christ, do you ever go out in the sun? I've never seen someone so pale." 

"I prefer the nightlife." Remus smiled. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Padfoot. For staying." 

Sirius gingerly took Remus' bad arm into his hands and turned it to and fro. His faced pinched into a concerned scowl. "Any time. Hold on to that. Let's just get you dressed and head to the castle. I don't think there's much I can do." 

Remus' cheeks flushed with heat at the recollection that he was naked. 

+++++++

Madam Pomfrey tutted and prodded at him for what seemed like ages. "Those friends of yours sure didn't do their jobs last night." she glared at Sirius while she expertly set Remus' arm. He yelped in surprise at the sharp pain, but it quickly dissipated into a sore ache. 

"It's not their fault that this happens to me." Remus defended them as she wrapped a tight sling around his arm and looped it around his neck. 

"If he didn't hurt himself I'd never get to visit with you, would I?" Sirius shook the hair back from his face with a wink. His usual charm didn't have it's cool edge because his face was just as scratched as Remus' and his eyes were bloodshot and bagged with lack of sleep. Madam Pomfrey's sallow cheeks reddened nonetheless. 

"Now, I want you back in here before classes tomorrow morning so I can check on the processes of everything. I suggest you stay in today. Get some rest." She poured him a shot of Skelegro and handed it to him. 

"I feel fine!" he argued, mostly to not have to swallow the horrid potion. 

"You look a fright." she said. "Drink up." 

Grimacing, Remus shot down the small dose of medicine and coughed pathetically. "If you were more careful, you wouldn't have to suffer like that." Madam Pomfrey started her tutting again. "Perhaps you should stay here for the day so I can keep an eye on you." 

Remus began to object when Sirius intervened. "Oh, that's alright, Poppy. I'll take him up to the dormitory for rest. He'll sleep better in his own bed." Remus nodded, begging Madam Pomfrey to let him go with his eyes. 

The stark whiteness of the hospital wing did no favors for his blooming headache. All his books and homework were in Gryffindor tower and if he was going to spend a day away from classes, he was going to study at least. 

"You, _Mr. Black_ are perfectly cleared to go to class for the remainder of the day." 

"But why on earth would I do that?" Sirius took his Remus' good arm and helped him off the bed. 

"You're more trouble than you're worth, you two." 

"That's what makes us interesting!" Remus shot over his shoulder. He leaned against Sirius heavily and the two of them limped their way out of the room and up to Gryffindor tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only the Strong Survive by Billy Paul 
> 
> Only the strong survive  
> Hey, you gotta be strong  
> You gotta hold on  
> I said don't give up, no don't


End file.
